H A P P Y 9 0 TH B I R T H D A Y !!!
On September 20th we will celebrate the 90th Birthday of the matriarch or our family, our mother, grandmother, and great grandmother; DONNA LOU McALLISTER WADE.
We thought it important that this edition of The Grandparent Chronicles be dedicated to her!
Donna was born on September 20, 1928 in Mesa, Arizona to Luther ( that's where she gets the middle name Lou) and Susanna Johnstun McAllister. ( born at home - not in a hospital.) Her two older brothers, Edmond Luther and Marvin James and later Billy Bradford, then a little sister Dorthy Faye were the other four siblings which were all part of a close knit family.
"Our father spent a lot of time playing with us" she recalls. " Some of my very earliest memories are of my father lifting me upon his hands and feet and me doing flips and tumbling with him." They also spent a lot of time playing baseball, his favorite sport.
When she was young her father was the manager of a Pay-N-Take It" market. "One of my favorite things to do" she reflects, "was to go to the butcher shop in the store where Larry the butcher would give me a wiener to eat. I would then wander around the store visiting with the other workers and eating my cold hot dog. Larry made up a little song he taught me and he and I would sing, ' My daddy runs the grocery store and Larry cuts the meat, and I'm the little wiener that runs around the street.'
Family vacations were spent together camping which often included fishing. " Camping was very different then. We had no tent, no camp stoves,sleeping bags, lanterns or anything like that. My Dad had a huge canvass tarp that he put on the ground and we took all the blankets off our beds at home with us and we placed them on top of the top half of the tarp, them Dad pulled the bottom half up to cover them so our bed wouldn't get wet if it rained, and that's the way we slept all in one big bed. Dad had several big dutch ovens that he cooked in over a camp fire. We went to bed when it got dark so we didn't need a light. Dad told us stories until we fell asleep so we never got bored. We had so many good times together."
"My parents raised twin girls that were the sisters of my uncle Jess's first wife Thelma Westover. Their mother died when they were about 10 or 12 years old and their father asked my folks to take care of them. They lived with us until they were out of High School and business school where my dad sent them, and they went to Washington DC to work. They met and married their husbands there and never returned to Mesa to live. Later they moved to Phoenix, Arizona. We loved those girls and thought of them as our Sisters. Their names were LaVeda and LaVada Westover.
" One of my 1st jobs at home, after the twins left, was the family wash when mom wasn't feeling well. While we lived in Arizona she had very poor health for the last few years. We moved to Utah on Doctor's orders for her to go to a higher climate to live. Anyway, it was a real ordeal to do the family wash in those days. We didn't have to scrub on a wash board but we washed outside in a shed we called the wash house. One of my older brothers would chop wood and build a fire under a big old tub that they filled with water that they carried in buckets. When it was hot they carried it to the washer where I would put the soap and the clothes in, wait for about 15 to 20 minutes for them to wash, them put them thru the wringer into a tub of cold water to rinse out all the soap, then thru the wringer again them hang them out on the clothes line to dry. It was an all day job and very tedious. I remember how black that old tub was from all the fires it had under it."
" I attended Alma School from Kindergarten to 8th grade. My best friends were La Prele Pew and Josie Hidalgo. We did everything together. Those girls and I thought our lives were entwined forever and I don't even know where they are today. Funny how things change as you grow older. Values seem to change as well as friends"
" My parents enrolled me in dance school at the age of 4 and I stayed with it until I was 12. Ed and I danced together for many years, even into our teens. I would make up the dances,teach them to Ed and we were a great pair. I remember I used to love to dance more than eat."
" As I was growing up I had many friends and our home was the gathering place for us. I have always been grateful to my parents for opening our home up to our friends and I have tried to do that for my children also."
" I attended Mesa Union High School for my freshman year where I was fortunate enough to be elected a cheer leader I was the 1st freshman to belong to the senior girls dance club, and the 1st freshman to be the commissioner of cheer leaders, which gave me a seat on the student council which was the governing body of the school. School was very important to me and I was always very involved"
" When I was a sophomore my parents moved to Ogden, Utah where I attended Weber High school for my sophomore and junior years. I remember thinking that my parents had ruined my life at the time because I was a real somebody at Mesa High and came to Utah as a nobody."
" I worked hard and was finally chosen as a drum majorette in my junior year but I never felt like I was really accepted. "My parents let me return to Mesa to finish school and I met the Wade family.
I was again elected to the cheer leading squad and I met some great kids. One of those was Pauline Wade and we became good friends. We went to the same ward and did everything together. I loved her a great deal and still do. Her brother A.B. was in the Navy at the time and they gave a party for him when he came home on leave. Pauline and another sister, Leotha who was also a good friend, arranged for A.B. and me to be paired up at the party. We hit it off real well and when he went back to the Navy we wrote to each other. When he came home again we became engaged. We married a year later and have been sweethearts ever since. We were married in Ogden at my parents home "
They were given a reception there then, the next day headed back to Arizona for a reception in the Mesa 4th Ward where she had grown up and where the Wade family also lived at the time. They moved back to Utah where Byron was born, then back to Arizona ( where they were Married for eternity and sealed as a family in the temple) where Bruce was born then back to Utah where Darla ,Brent and Bart were born.
Donna was an amazing mother. She worked full time for most of our lives, as a checker at Safeway Market the a dental assistant for Dr. Bart Wolthuis who was also our Bishop and city mayor for several years. Still, she managed to attend to all family duties. She was a good cook and even made our clothes when we were young.
I remember one time when she came home from work very tired (which I'm sure was most nights) We children were being our normal rowdy selves when we eventually realized that our mother was missing. We searched everywhere and finally found her crying on her bed. We couldn't imagine what was wrong. At our inquiry she told us that she was tired and we were out of control and that she just couldn't handle it. We told her we were sorry and we'd try to be better. I remember thinking that I don't ever want to make my mother cry again. I'm sure I have since then but I never forgot how bad I felt that we were the cause of her tears.
Mom has held every ward and stake leadership calling a woman can hold. She especially loved her young women and they all loved her. Many have stayed in touch through the years and still turn to her for advice or a shoulder to cry on.
Her dental patients loved her and the city officials knew that they had to go thru Donna if the wanted to get the attention of the Mayor.
In July 1981 A.B's parents came to live with them. This was a difficult and demanding time for them. Yet, through it all Donna loved and cared for them as if they were her own parents. " I learned so much from this experience" she explains, " I am sure that is why Grandma lived so long, to teach us all patience, tolerance and gratitude for others. " Grandpa Paul outlived grandma Susie for several years and Donna kept right on serving.
Later, When our own father , A.B. came down with Parkinson's disease and later Lymphoma, Donna continued to love and care for him through the years of doctor's appointments, blood work and chemo therapy, Mom was patient and lovingly cared for his every need. I was blessed to be present when my father passed on. Mother stayed up with him reading from the scriptures to him at his request until after one in the morning, until she could read no more. Mom helped him with his shower and fixed him breakfast the next morning although he couldn't keep it down.
The night before we had enjoyed a good talk and I was privileged to give him a Priesthood blessing. By a little after 10 am the next morning while sitting in his favorite chair and with his sweet great grand daughter Lilly on his lap, he lowered his head and entered into eternity. There was such a sweet , peaceful and sacred feeling in the room that we all commented on it. Mother had lost her earthly companion but was comforted to know that their relationship is an eternal one.
There are no doubt lonely times but for over 5 years now, our Mother has been a trooper. She keeps busy making quilts for all the great grandchildren , visiting children , grandchildren and great grand children. She quips that she hope to live long enough to spend all the insurance money dad so lovingly provided for her. She love cruises with her children and their spouses and is trying her best to do just that.
interestingly, our Donna never really liked her name and even asked her mother why she didn't give her a pretty name like Veronica etc. In Arizona there was a Donna who lived on the street behind them and there were 6 Donnas when she attended Weber High and 3 were in her same English class!
There were lot's of Donnas back then. It was a very popular name. To us, those who know and love her it is still a popular name- one that we will always cherish and adore!
Happy Birthday to our lovely DONNA ! May you keep loving life and blessing ours by your presence. We as family appreciate all who are making a effort to attend her 90th Celebration of Life and to those who couldn't make it- we understand. We'll plan on seeing you at her 100th!
Much love to Donna and all who know and love her!
The Grandparent Chronicles
Sources: The hand written "Life Story of Donna Lou McAllister Wade written by her in January 1984
personal memories of Bruce K Wade
For those who would like a complete copy of her life story please contact Bruce @ wadesinsac@att.net
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