More Important
MORE IMPORTANT
Years ago, when
I was a young counselor to a wise Bishop in Wellsville, Utah; two neighboring
high priests had an ongoing feud over water rights. They both felt justified in
their anger, and it began affecting the ward as sides began to form; a real “Hatfield
& McCoy” scenario. Finally, our wise Bishop called them both into his
office, asked to see their temple recommends and told them both that it was
past time to reconcile their differences. With the Bishop’s help and prayer,
neither would leave his office with their recommends until the matter was
resolved. I wasn’t in their meeting but somehow, no doubt with the help of the
spirit, those two stubborn high priests eventually did come from the bishop’s
office, recommends in hand, tears in their eyes with smiles on their faces,
having buried the hatchet, embraced each other and realized that people are
more important than water.
Fast forward
40 years and I am now an old high priest on a 3 man board of directors for our
HOA (homeowners association). I’m over a tree trimming project and in the
middle of a feud with the contractor. Finally, after several polite text
messages and emails, then one last firm email, they agreed to come back and do
a walk through so I could show them that what they had committed to do at our
initial walk through had not been done. For those who know me, you know I’m
like a dog with a bone when I feel I’m in the right. I hate a bully and those
who take advantage of others. Finally, I was going to get the chance to protect
these older people in our HOA from being taken advantage of!
Can you
imagine my surprise and angers when I get an email from our board President
that he had been contacted by the contractor and had cancelled our scheduled
walk thru that was to take place the following day! I hadn’t felt the need to
include him in my tug of war with the contractor, why burden him will all the
back and forth when I was plenty capable of handling the matter.
Filled with
righteous indignation, I marched over to his house and asked, “are we still
friends?” “I hope so” he replied, “then we need to talk!” I said. I presented him with copies of all my back
and forth with the contractor which proceeded my last which they had forwarded
to him. He had no interest in reading them. Did he know that they had not shown
up with their bucket truck to trim the tall branches as they had committed to
do? Had he taken the time to walk the
project to discover that there were trees on which they had only made 3 or 4
cuts and still charged us the full price? He had not.
Why
had he cancelled the walk thru without the courtesy of getting with me 1st?”
“You need to do the right thing! Contact
the contractor and let them know that you have come to a knowledge of
additional information and that we need to conduct the walk thru as planned.” “I
will not!” he replied. I was blown away!
I was sitting across the table from someone who was more stubborn than me! Someone
who refused to follow my clear logic, whose pride had apparently been bruised
and who could not admit that he had acted in haste without knowledge of or
caring to know all the facts!
I
had a choice to make. I could be just as stubborn and cling to principle. I
could be like the dog and cling to my bone even tighter! After all, I was
justified! However, realizing that he was not going to allow the walk thru to
go forward, the trees were not going to get trimmed better. If I didn’t back
down, I could see a real life “Hatfield
& McCoy” situation only getting worse, so I said; “You’re a good man. I
value our friendship. I’m not going to let this situation destroy our
relationship. I’ll stand down if I must, but I strongly feel that you are
making a totally wrong decision here, you know how strongly I feel about this!”
But no, he had acted and all the logic
in the world was not going to change his mind! Finally, being dumbfounded at
his stubbornness and still in shock at all that had just happened, I said; “OK,
let’s move on. In the future, I will be a better communicator and if you disagree
with any situation that I am handling, you will do me the courtesy of communicating
with me directly before involving yourself with any contractor with whom I’m
negotiating. We agreed and parted ways.
As
much as I believe in principle and that right is right, I had learned something
that my Heavenly Father no doubt wanted me to learn. Just like our two high priests
had learned; people are more important than water.
Moses 1:39- reminds us “This is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.”
Sounds like people are pretty import to God! We hope our posterity will remember this important fact in their dealings with people .
Two
days later, as I drove to serve in the Temple, I noticed in our neighborhood,
several trees that still needed to be trimmed. However, when I entered the Temple, I felt at
peace with myself, with my neighbor and with my Savior. I offered a silent prayer
of thanks that he had taught me to remember that people and friendships are
also more important than trees!
Much
Love- The grandparent Chronicles
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